Benefits Of Stucture & Routine For Children

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Structure can create stability, safety and orientation to your life, the life of your children and your family as a whole. Children feel safer with structure because it makes life predictable and they know what is coming next. Routines are a way to add structure to your days. 

You can create routines by following 4 steps:

1. Identify the routine
2. Explain the routine
3. Stick to the routine
4. Use consequences

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To identify the routine, think about what part of your day could use more structure. Recurring events where structure is needed and routines are helpful could be mealtime, going to bed, even a clean-up or getting out of the house routine. Identify the routine, the activities that need to happen and their order.

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You will have to explain the routine well, so your child knows what is expected and will happen: What, when and where. A chart illustrating the individual steps with space to check steps or the whole routine off as a feedback helps your child and yourself to be consistent and to establish the routine.

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Now, you will need to follow the routine, this is difficult for your child when it’s about chores or stopping playtime or going to bed. This can also be challenging for the parent when being tired and irritable after a long day gets in the way. Think about your routines as the beta versions of software. Your kids will test the software (= the routine). That’s what kids do. It’s your job you ask yourself if you need to adapt the routine to your life so it continues to “fit” well and make your life easier. What that means is that good routines and helpful structure allow you to be present and engaged in your life without giving you a sense of monotony or being constricting. Form follow function. Routines are there to help you and not mindlessly performed.

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If establishing routines for your family, you will have to remind your child what happens if he does not follow the routine. For example: “If you don’t clean up after playtime, there will be no dessert after dinner.” Even better, use much praise (positive reinforcement) to help strengthen routines. If you need to change a routine, let yourself, child or family know about it and explain what will happen instead. You will need to fine tune or even change or suspend routines depending on what is going on in your life. Too much structure will cause rigidity and stop life from moving along. With not enough structure, especially family life easily disintegrates into the chaos that prevents life from developing in a meaningful way.